|Read Ebook ß When Someone You Love Is Kinky â eBook or Kindle ePUB free

|Read Ebook ï When Someone You Love Is Kinky ⚜ About One Out Of Ten Americans Is Kinky They May Enjoy Bondage, Dressing In Special Clothes That Turn Them On, Spanking, Erotic Role Playing, Body Modification, Or Any One Of A Number Of Other Activities That Are Outside The Sexual Mainstream And Each One Of Them Is Surrounded By A Constellation Of Friends, Lovers, Parents, Children And Co Workers Who May Feel Frightened, Concerned, Hurt Or Bewildered By Lifestyles They Don T UnderstandNow, For Anyone Who S Ever Overhead A Conversation, Glimpsed A Toy, Or Been Startled By A Tattoo, There S When Someone You Love Is Kinky, A Sympathetic And Comprehensive Handbook For Helping You Understand The Behaviors And Lifestyles Of The People You Care About Therapist Dossie Easton And Writer Sex Educator Catherine A Liszt Team Up Once Again To Help Allay Your Fears And Uncertainties And Build Bridges Of Communication That Will Last A Lifetime This book is an excellent beginner outsider look at the basic BDSM kink culture and practices The authors went above and beyond in their attempts to explain kinky desires in a non threatening way from different angles This book also includes several letters the authors collected from the community that are coming out letters This technique helps bring attention to the fear of rejection many kinksters feel about disclosing to their loved ones about their preferences The writing is accessible and easy to follow, making it a great resource The only negative critique I have for this book is that some of the descriptions of a typical play scene may be too graphic for some types of readers Depending on the relationship and family structure, giving this book to a family member could be awkward due to those scene descriptions Otherwise fantastic book It s mostly just a series of letters and not too much information about accepting someone who is kinky into your life I knew most of this already, The Ethical Slut by same author is something you will learn much from, this is of perhaps an addendum to The Ethical Slut An approachable book, When Someone You Love is Kinky is a basic primer to alternative sexuality specifically kink by Dossie Easton and Catherine A Liszt and serves not to introduce the people involved in this sort of erotic experience but their friends and families As such it is very gentle, easing the reader into the subject matter, taking the time to debunk myths and to offer reassurance that engaging in kink activities is not a one way ticket to the morgue Beginning with a basic introduction, which not only talks about the community, but also how we got here, and how the idea that sex is one thing and one thing only penetrative, foreplay light, man on top etc, etc came to pass.They discuss language, and how BDSM has its own specific terms, which may seem baffling to the beginner, or to people outside the community There s a chapter dedicated to safety, to discussion and negotiation, which while it touches on things like safewords a concept I fear is so esoteric to the non kinky world as to be almost alien also dives into limits and safeguards Age is discussed here, with a strong condemnation of the idea that children be in any way involved in kink, and a note that experience is vital if you want to get involved.There is a discussion of community and what it means, and of the dangers of being outed to the outside world While I ve never heard of anyone losing their job for being involved in BDSM, but it obviously does happen and here I am rabbiting on about it , or at least not outside of media and political circles where reputation and honesty were involved Angus Deyton s sacking from Have I Got News for You springs to mind, where I believe it was felt that being the story yourself was against the nature of the show Simon Hoggart s departure from the News Quiz was a similar affair, and he had only, well, had an affair This chapter rounds out with a piece about kids and how much they should know not much if anything, since you ask.The book also serves as a chance for the authors to discuss sex negativism and to promote a positive attitude towards sex, laying out almost a manifesto that supports basic ideas for improving your sex life grounding it in sex therapy as well as in alternative sexualities and the experiences of the people in them There s also a large section which tackles what to do if you find out your partner is kinky, and how to handle it It s thoughtfully and nonjudgmentally laid out.Most touching are the anonymous letters that pepper the book, letters to parents, to lovers, to friends Each confides, and explains why the correspondents enjoy the things they do, each is a slice of human experience outside of the norm and brings home that it s human lives and human experiences and that none of this magically renders the people involved into monsters. Interesting focus on the idea of what constitutes sex Briefly touches upon the idea that kink can be related to sex or not, but goes on to equate intimacy with sex and concludes that because kink requires intimacy then it is defined by them as a sex act Large focus on physical aspects of BDSM without much discussion of mental effects It does talk about how kink can be a healing force, but doesn t spend enough time explaining how There s not really a discussion about aftercare Some people mention subspace, not by name, in their letters, but don t describe it in detail why it is important how subspace can be transformative and freeing The book does mention the vast support system set up in the BDSM community, but not in detail between partners Ultimately, a helpful resource, but definitely not something I would give to someone who was worried about kink and just beginning to learn about it.The letters definitely make this book, though they are rather repetitive Excerpting them might have been just as effective A lot of interesting connections are drawn between kink and sport.